Sometimes when we have a spurt of personal growth, we find that we outgrow people in our lives. It doesn't mean we are better than them, only in a different place. It's happened to me several times and I'm in a transition stage right now. The events of the past several weeks have altered how I see things. I'm strongly focused on what I want my life to look like and what kind of people I want to be in my life. I'm going through a lot and I only want to surround myself with those who are also working on being better every day. If I continue to hang out with people that exhibit old energy that will not propel me to the next level, I will hold myself back.
This means having painful conversations with friends, lovers or family we care about. We want the best for them. We want them to succeed. We also know that they are on a different path and there is now a Y in the road. We have to choose the path that gives us the best chance of bettering ourselves and our life. Sometimes we have to leave people behind. I love the example of people being on your bus. Sometimes, they have to get off your bus because they are going to a different destination. It's not personal, it's just part of the growth process. Often when people are not in a secure space, they perceive this as rejection and judgement but it's actually love. I care for you so much that I'm not going to interfere with the path that you are on. For whatever reason, that's where you need to be. I also love myself so much that I'm not going to stay on your path if it means compromising my own needs and peace. I release you with love. I wish you the best. If our paths cross again and we are headed for the same destination, we can resume our friendship.
Letting people go that we have outgrown is like cleaning house. We have to clean off the dust to see the beautiful wood under it. We have to give away old clothing that no longer fits us so we can make room in the closet for new clothes that will fit better. We have to leave behind that friendship that is now hindering us instead of empowering us to be our best selves. The old saying is true - birds of a feather flock together. We become like the five people we spend the most time with. We must be choosy in who we allow to be in our top five. Just like a romantic relationship, friendships must also meet certain criteria to exist in our lives.
What also amazes me is that as I grow and let go of old friendships, new ones seem to naturally form that fulfil the new criteria that I have set. It seems like every so often, I go through a cleaning phase and friends come and go like a revolving door. Not everyone is meant to be in our lives forever -- some are just a season, some are long term. I love this video by Madea which talks about how people will come and go in our lives and how a small few will be the foundation that stay and add value to our life.
If you have someone in your life that you know is holding you back from your best potential, let them go with love. Your words are going to hurt no matter what you say but make your best effort to lessen the sting as much as possible. Maybe it will inspire them to do better, maybe it won't. That's up to them. What's up to you is supporting your highest good and protecting your peace at all costs.
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